Thursday, February 12, 2009


Ever feel like you have so much to say that you could never get it all out? That's how I'm feeling about blogging and part of the reason I've been quiet lately. Something that I'm currently stewing about is that we have no marker at Baker's grave. I'm stuck in indecision and don't know where to start. Perhaps I fear the finality of seeing his name engraved in stone? In my mind, I pictured an unveiling of the stone on his first birthday in April, but Chris reminded me that the ground could still be muddy after this very snowy winter. So for the time being, we have the tree to mark the spot. A flat marker would have long been buried by now-instead his tree stands tall next to a similar tree for a young man killed in a car accident in August, just weeks before he was to start college and continue his accomplished athletic career. After the first big snow, Gabriel's parents brought a shovel to the cemetery and dug a path through the snow to their son's resting place. Most Sundays, we gratefully travel the same path to our own son's grave and now, after many snowstorms and many Sundays, the path is well worn by our collective footprints. Other than Christmas wreaths, there has been very little winter activity in our section, no other footprints to graves of people who died older and have been dead longer. Although I don't know Gabriel's parents and won't touch the "which is worst" question, I feel like we're in this together. I greet Baker, I greet Gabe. Chris trimmed Baker's grass, then Gabe's grass, in the fall. I watered their annuals. When we leave, we say goodbye to both Baker and Gabe. I like knowing that Gabe is buried next to Baker. From what I've read about him in the newspaper, he seems like the kind of kid who likes babies.


Hope's Mama said...

My Hope is buried two places away from another little stillborn baby. A second child for these parents. A little boy. I too visit him when I visit my Hope. I tidy things up for him if the wind has made a mess. I have never met his parents there, but I hope to some day. I have been reading here for a while now, but never commented. I have seen you commeting at other places.
I'm so terribly sorry about Baker. Wishing you the good things in life.

k@lakly said...

I can't think of a more tender thing to do than tend to the grave of anothers child. Something about these two boys being buried so close together is comforting, isn't it? I hope you, the parents can soothe each other on this journey.

Cara said...

Over the years we have walked the cemetary looking for all the babies. This was Bear's idea,but I love it too. Because everyone is someone's baby and the compassion that we learn from walking grave to grave, reading their names, and - yes- steadying flowers is a priceless gift.

Have you been to the SSV site lately? There are pictures of the nearly completed memory boxes although that gentlemen never got back to me about personalizing so we will have to come up with something else.

((hugs)) - I can't wait for spring when I can actually get to Emma's stone and see it again!